Am I being abused? – DENIAL –


Oh how good we are at it! Especially when we wouldn’t treat someone the way he treats us. Seriously. Why would anyone do or say what he says?

He must be kidding!

He’s not serious!

Did I misunderstand?

Am I too judgmental?

Maybe that’s just his sense of humor?

If that was funny, why I am I not laughing?

If that was funny, why did that hurt?

What am I missing?

His friends and family are laughing…what’s my problem?

Man, I must be a real kill-joy.

I used to have a sense of humor. Where did it go?

He used to laugh. Feels more like he is mocking me now.

Why would he mock me?

He says he loves me.

That’s the real truth.

Because who would say that if they didn’t mean it?

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me. Not.

When we get sucked in to his reality and so far away from our own, we tend to believe all the lies he spews at us from “You always have an attitude!” to, completely out of the blue, “No wonder your daughter doesn’t want to have a relationship with you!” as he slams the door in your face. What the heck? I just spoke to her, and nothing was wrong! But we believe him, and if you are like I was, you’d want peace with your kids.

My kids were the only thing that actually made sense. They were my lifeline. But when someone else is allowed to manipulate us…you call them in a panic. “Are we okay? Is there anything I’ve done to hurt you?” If they are wise, they are confused at first but then catch on. “No, mom. Everything is okay. What’s going on?” Now we are stuck. We have two choices. Tell them what he said (making them think badly of him, and putting yourself at risk of sharing a private conversation you had with your husband and making him mad if he finds out) or lie.

When we get to the point of even considering lying to our kids, that is a flag for us.

HUGE flag.

Hi! I’m MJ! And I’m a survivor of Domestic Violence. This blog, yes, is for other survivors of Domestic Abuse. However, sometimes I like to write about other learning curve events or thoughts in my life.

What I hope to do is help other survivors get a Through VictoryLife House, survivors can find information to help them through the trauma they’ve experienced. Through this blog, I hope you also enjoy other random types of musings.

Life without abuse IS an option. Choose life!


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Published by victorylifehouse

Overcomer - Peace Advocate - Child of God

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